


I'm sorry

by luna_dd



Series: Love and respect [5]
Category: DAKAICHI (Anime), 抱かれたい男1位に脅されています。 | Dakaretai Otoko Ichii ni Odosarete Imasu (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Author is sick, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mental Breakdown, Non-Consensual Touching, Post-Break Up, asking for a consent, but one of them is... you'll see, but still, how do i tag again?, like - six times, not nearly as uncomfortable as the previous part, possibly ooc Ayagi, the Covid is still on!, the word "fuck" is used a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 14:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30023235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luna_dd/pseuds/luna_dd
Summary: Takato set his bag on the floor next to the couch and sat down. The cushion gave up under his weight and he had to resist the urge to pull his knees up and curl into a ball. Instead he took a deep breath and forced his body to relax, leaning back against the throw pillows like he belonged here. All the awards he has won over the years weren’t just for his looks, he could play any role he wanted.
Relationships: Azumaya Junta/Saijou Takato (Mentioned), Saijou Takato & Chihiro Ayagi
Series: Love and respect [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678954
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	I'm sorry

**Author's Note:**

> okay so the last part took me nine months but this one less than a week. Okay. Cool.  
> Please note that this is still 90% angst.

After leaving the apartment he  _ used to  _ share with Junta the only thing on his mind was to walk away, to put more distance between them, so that Junta wouldn’t catch up to him, so that it would be harder to turn back. He pushed himself forward for God knows how long, catching eyes of strangers, hoping that the plain white face mask, he grabbed on his way out, would prevent anyone from recognizing him. He snapped out of it in a completely unfamiliar neighbourhood. 

He sat down heavily on a bus stop bench, the bag with his clothes next to him and fought down a sob that wanted to escape his lips. He wanted to go home. Whatever that even meant, wherever the  _ home _ was, he wanted to get there. The key to his old apartment seemed to be burning a hole in his pocket but it would be the first place Junta would look for him.

Takato wrapped his arms around his middle in a futile attempt to comfort himself but it wasn’t anything like Junta’s hug. This one couldn’t engulf him completely, filling him with warmth and making him feel whole.

Briefly, Takato considered staying at a hotel but more than anything  _ he didn’t want to be alone  _ right now. He didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts, replaying the events of the day and the failed attempt of explaining his feelings to Junta. He didn’t want to think about if maybe it was his own fault for letting things happen the way they did. He didn’t want to imagine that maybe if he tried again…

Takato pulled out his phone and ignored multiple notifications about missed calls. He didn’t need it right now,  _ or never _ , he thought, scrolling through his contacts and realising that there weren’t many people he could call. Aside from Junta’s, his most used contact was Sasaki-san, but he couldn’t trust the man not to turn him to Junta the second he showed up at his doorstep. 

Eventually his eyes landed on Ayagi’s contact name and yes, the idea was stupid and irrational. While they might not have been enemies they weren’t friends either, quite far from it if Takato was being honest. But Ayagi hated Junta and he wouldn’t… he wouldn’t… if he even dared to touch Takato, Junta would… Junta wouldn’t look for him there.

Takato gripped his phone tighter and pressed the call button. 

  
  


He entered the apartment with a fast beating heart, clutching the strap of his bag nervously. He tried to tame his hair in the elevator mirror but he couldn’t do anything about the swollen eyes and bite marks around his neck. The cab driver on his way here sent him worried looks in the rear view mirror on their way here but while it was unnerving it proved to be nothing compared to being scrutinized by the pair of golden eyes.

“I was surprised when you called me,” Ayagi admitted, gesturing for Takato to enter further. “Water? Juice? Vodka?” he asked and disappeared in the kitchen before Takato could answer.

The place was nice but it looked like a photoshoot location for a catalogue. There were no personal touches to be seen, no photos, no plants. The only sign of the space being inhabited were a few empty cups and plates on the coffee table in front of the TV. 

Takato set his bag on the floor next to the couch and sat down. The cushion gave up under his weight and he had to resist the urge to pull his knees up and curl into a ball. Instead he took a deep breath and forced his body to relax, leaning back against the throw pillows like he belonged here. All the awards he has won over the years weren’t just for his looks, he could play any role he wanted.

“You were in luck that I’m bored as fuck, I don’t necessaarily want your crazy boyfriend on my neck just for talking with you.” Takato jumped when Ayagi suddenly appeared in front of him, offering him a drink. He cursed himself and tried to bring back a neutral expression on his face. Ayagi raised an eyebrow questioningly but didn’t comment. “So what brings you here, Saijou-san?” he asked instead. 

“Oh, I just wanted to see how you’re doing,” Takato lied but even in his own ears it sounded fake.

“Yeah, right,” Ayagi huffed and sat down. He kicked his legs up on the table and threw his arms on the back of the couch. The long fingers brushed against Takato’s shoulder making him tense and lean away from the touch. “But okay, let’s say I believe you. As I said, I’m bored out of my mind, I can’t go out and meet with anyone because everyone is scared of Covid, so Netflix is my new best friend.”

“That’s…”

“So now that we’re done with that, you can tell me the real reason,” the younger male interrupted Takato. “I don’t mind being able to look at your face but we’re not exactly buddies. Tell me how is the quarantine working out for  _ you _ ? Judging by your neck I dare to say you’re spending it with Azumaya.” He reached out, this time deliberately, to poke at one of the marks Junta left.

“Yeah,” Takato gulped, his arm twitched but he stopped himself from trying to slap the other man’s hand and cover the bruises. “We moved in together two months ago.”

“Then why are you here and not with him?” Ayagi hummed. “Troubles in paradise? Did your Angel not fuck you hard enough and you came for me to do it properly or something?” 

Takato pushed his hands between his knees to hide that they started shaking. He didn’t think this through. The gaze on him was almost palpable and Takato suddenly couldn’t look up from the floor. Here goes his best actor title. Ayagi’s finger still hadn’t left his skin and was now drawing idle circles on the pale skin.

“Well?”

It was as if the air grew thicker, making every breath harder than the previous one. Takato tried to focus on counting instead of the touch but in the end he couldn’t help the tears that started to well up in his eyes. 

“Jeez, you are shaking like a leaf. What the fuck happened?” Ayagi finally took his hand away but the loss of sensation didn’t make Takato feel any better. “Did he force himself on you or something?”

Takato’s hand flew to cover his mouth to silence a sob, tears now openly falling down his cheeks. He folded forward, hiding his face and wanting to disappear. He didn’t want to hear it, he didn’t want anyone else to acknowledge out loud what had happened, he didn’t want _Ayagi_ , of all people, to say it. 

“Wait, seriously!?” Ayagi panicked and stood up, taking a step away from Takato. “Fuck, fuck. Fuck!” He wasn’t suited to deal with situations like that. He frantically looked around searching for something, anything, that would give him an idea what to do. “Have you told anyone about it? I don’t know… police? Your manager?” That was a kind of thing you would tell your manager, right?

“He... My manager said it’s... it’s not a big deal.” Takato hiccuped in a heartrending voice. Ayagi’s hands hovered over his shoulder unsure if he should pat his back to help him calm down or if it would only make things worse. He hesitated before throwing a quiet ‘wait here’ and went to his bedroom to fetch some tissues. 

Upon his return Takato was calmer. He was still folded in half, his breathing heavy and disrupted with hiccups every now and then, but his form was no longer shaking. When Ayagi was gone he also seemed to borrow one of the throw pillows from the couch and was now hugging it against his middle.

Ayagi squatted in front of his… colleague and asked what seemed to be the next important question, because right now he had no idea what to do. He was never good with comforting people when they cried. He knew that his niece wanted to be hugged whenever something disturbed her, and while at the moment Saijou-san reminded him of a crying baby that desperately needed a hug he couldn’t just invade his space. Not now, not after what he’s just heard.

“Can I touch you?”

At the question Takato only curled himself tighter around the pillow and hunched his shoulders, as if he was a turtle wanting to hide his head. 

“I won’t then.” Ayagi sighed and sat down on a floor, resting his back against the coffee table. Now that there was more space between them, Takato seemed to relax slightly. “I still have no idea why you came here.”

“I didn’t know where to go.”

“So you chose a guy who tried to take advantage of you when you got drunk? You truly are an idiot.” Ayagi threw his head back and it landed on the table with a thud. “I won’t try it again, just so you know. When we first started working together I was mad at you and tried to get back at you in the worst possible way. I’m sorry.”

When he straightened himself he was met with a face of a broken man. Takato’s eyes were red and puffy, there were dried up tears on his blushed cheeks and he was in the middle of blowing his nose. 

“You two broke up?” A silent nod was all he got but that was still a good news. “Right... You can stay here if you want to. I don’t suppose you want to return to Azumaya’s apartment”

“I don’t.” Came an immediate response. His voice was hoarse from all the crying. “I don’t want to go back to our apartment, that is. And thank you.”

They stayed quiet for a while. Ayagi had no idea what else to say and Takato played with a corner of the pillow he was still hugging. He looked exhausted but also like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes the person who helps you the most is the one you'd least expect it from.
> 
> Takato has some of his human rights restored...  
> ...what now?


End file.
